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Forum Home > Zombies > Jockeybane: Nick's Thesis on Laser-Sighting an Uzi

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

The AK-47 now faces stiff competition for my nomination in the category of "hands-down best weapon to slap a laser sight on." I may not have even given this tiny Tier One gun a chance if not for a chance happening during a game with my girlfriend. We were playing the remade Dead Air and laser sights spawned literally in the first room after the opening safehouse. At first I lamented the Director's cruelty, since I knew only Tier Ones could spawn on this level, and saw the preciously rare laser sights as having been wasted on us. But Casey, with her eternal optimism, convinced me to give the laser-sighted Uzi a try.

Neither of us dropped the thing for the rest of the campaign.

We even went through half of the second level with just our pistols and melee after running out of ammo, just so we wouldn't have to drop them. I wasn't sure exactly why during that first run, but I loved the thing. In the days since, I have taken the time whenever I find both laser sights and Uzis close together to use it again, but pay more attention to how it operates this time.


I've nicknamed the laser-sighted Uzi "Jockeybane." Jockeys have always been my least favorite Special, mostly because I found them ridiculously hard to hit with my favorite weapons; namely, the Magnum, Sniper, and AK-47, even while laser-sighted. However, with Jockeybane by my side, the process of Jockey elimination is as simple as point and hold down the trigger until it dies.

The perk of the Uzi and what makes it so unique, even over its sister, the Silenced Submachine Gun, is the combination of firing speed and accuracy. When that accuracy is advanced even further with the benefit of the laser sight, one no longer needs to fear a loss of accuracy from letting the gun go fully-auto. While firing in bursts is still definitely the preferred method against Commons, for Specials, it becomes easier than with any other gun I have used previously to lock onto the head and let fly with a spray of 20-30 bullets in just a couple of seconds. In my experience, the Charger was the only Special the laser-sighted Uzi failed to destroy relentlessly, and I even killed my share of those as well. It's just harder to lock onto a Charger's head without getting plowed over in the process. But the long-range accuracy gives it the edge both over those Specials that attack from a distance (Smoker, Spitter) and those that rely on their speed and small size to baffle survivors (Hunter, Jockey).

Perhaps what surprised me most about Jockeybane was its effectiveness on Tanks. Don't misunderstand; it's by no means a Tank-killer like the laser-sighted AK-47 is. But I was surprised to look at the post-level totals and see that I was consistently contributing my fair share of damage to each Tank we encountered; even while the bots where using Tier Two weapons against my modded Tier One. Again, headshots seem to be the key, but thanks to the Uzi's consistent and deceiving long-range accuracy, these are not hard to achieve even while keeping one's distance from the Tank as one always should.

Against the Witch, sadly, Jockeybane is practically useless thanks to its lack of headshot-stumbling as seen in the Hunting/Sniper Rifles and AK-47, although Frag Rounds make anything possible.


My accuracy for the rounds I played with Jockeybane was a bit lower than I would have liked (~32%), but don't let that deceive you; this is due to the Uzi's extreme firing rate resulting in an inability to possibly control each and every bullet that escapes its chamber. I did see a drastic spike in headshot percentage, and even in-game I noticed an increased ease in finding headshots both on the aforementioned Specials and the Common stragglers. The best method for handling hordes seems to be to aim high; since every headshot is a kill whereas 3-4 body/limb shots are required to kill a Common, and headshots are the only efficient way to contribute to cleaning out a horde.

The Magnum would be my first recommendation for a sidearm to Jockeybane, as it can be used to clean up stragglers and the Uzi's limited ammo supply can be saved for Specials and hordes. However, due to its lack of close-range support, a melee weapon serves as a fine sidearm as well. Dual pistols are not recommended as they provide no advantage over Jockeybane itself save for the limitless ammo.


In comparison to a laser-sighted AK-47, the rifle provides only one advantage: power. Jockeybane provides a faster fire rate, larger ammo supply (though somewhat offset by the fire rate; the Uzi will still burn through that ammo faster than an AK will), and an accuracy that the AK can only dream of providing. The tradeoff, however, is that each bullet from an AK-47 does nearly three times the damage of a bullet from the Uzi. The AK-47 is superior for tackling Commons and Tanks (and Witches, technically, although hopefully you wouldn't tackle a Witch with either and instead let the team's designated shotgun user Cr0wn her), but for every other Special infected, Jockeybane provided the best experience of any gun I have ever used.


The destructor has gone

January 31, 2012 at 10:09 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Vesicant Lemur
Posts: 98

It is a rare thing to witness someone analyzing a video game so thoroughly. I am impressed.

All you need now is a spreadsheet and you qualify as a gaming scientist.


Life is Absurd. Chill out. Don't give a fuck.

February 1, 2012 at 1:27 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

I'll see what I can whip up in OpenOffice, then. The title of "gaming scientist" sounds really cool.


The destructor has gone

February 1, 2012 at 3:26 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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