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Forum Home > Nuzlocke Runs > Cecil's Platinum Nuzlocke

Posts: 739

Okay let me preface this by saying this is the 5th Fucking time I have tried to beat a Sinnoh Nuzlocke run. First 2 times I was swept by Roark, 3 time by Fantima, and the last time I made it all the way to Candice. (I could have kept going with Pokes form my box but I figured "what the Hell?" I'll start over so PR can follow my misfortune this time.

So all that said I hate Sinnoh now. I don't know who it was I pissed off to deserve so much bad luck, but Hell, I'll try again.

Rules are:

1. If it faints put it in box Dead and never use it again.

2. Catch the first Pokemon per area. VARIETY CLAUSE: Bidoof is fucking everywhere in this game and I will not have a team of them again. If I run into something I already have data on I can skip it to find something else.

3. Nickname everything (This run's theme is Political Figures from around the world!)

4. I can only buy Pokeballs at marts. I can use any item I find or is given to me.

5. I tried once again not to over-level. It happened every now and then but it was because my team got cut down and all the extra xp pumped up my leftovers.

Battle style is NOT on Set this time. Fuck that. I thought that rule was official.

Okay! I haven't gone very far into this run yet. I played a bit over the break I was on (see my Ruby Nuz post) but that was it. Once I catch you guys up I will start playing and update like a normal person.

At no point in this run am I trying to say anything about any of the Political figures represented here, both past and present. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just like themed naming schemes. 

Game start!

FUCK. I hate my Rival. Popping up out of nowhere to challenge you to Pokemon battles, bumping into me, listening to rap music too loud. I hate him! So I named him after Rush Limbaugh. (Pun on Rush cuz he runs around everywhere.)

So Rush and I set out to have a Pokemon adventure. He is a dumbfuck (though not as bad as in Diamond. Seriously let's zig-zag through the grass to avoid Pokemon? He is asking to be maimed by a Starly. I will sit on the sidelines an laugh). Rowan comes by and asks us about our love for Pokemon. At this point I fuck with him for a couple of times because I sure as Hell don't love Sinnoh pokemon anymore. Eventually I tell him that I love the little fuckers and grab a Chimchar. (It is to be noted that every time I ran Nuzlocke on Sinnoh I used a Piplup or Turtwig. This is a first for me to grab Chimchar.)

Rush and I have an Epic battle of Epic Proportions epically played by our epic...nah I am just pulling your leg. I crited two Scratches in a row and sent his Piplup to the ER.


So I run along to That-one-town-you-only-stop-in-once henceforth known as Totyosio (Because I honestly forgot it's name anyway) and get a lecture from Dawn about what a Pokemon Center is. It was a dreary lesson only made better by seeing Rush's Piplup through a window getting a defibrillator shock. 

Anyway I ran home to Mommy because Dawn told me to and she wouldn't let me past till I did. (Somehow she knew. Oo )

I came back and watched Dawn catch a Bidoof and laughed to myself. Wasting a Pokeball on that sack of shit, laughable.

Oh, the game got me back for that statement. Encountered a Bidoof at Lake Verity so I had to catch him. o/ Named him W.

Then I was looking over my Chimchar and realized that the route obtained on him is Route 201 meaning I couldn't get a Starly there. Figures. So I head to Route 202 hoping for a Shinx and got a Starly instead. I don't mind that so much because Staraptor is beast. I name him Wilson after our Past President. 

From there we grind until nightfall and I get to Jubilife. I get chastised by Dawn because apparently I haven't caught enough Pokemon. I tell her that unless she can make more routes appear out of her fat ass that this is all the Pokemon I am getting tonight. She cried after that comment and seeing as I hurt her feelings I tried to console her. "You look fat when you cry." I tell her.

I saved in Jubilife with a hand-print on my cheek.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 13, 2011 at 5:27 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

So I start back up my game later that night after eating dinner irl. I walk into Jubilife with Dawn because she wants to show me where the Trainer's school is. At this point I am about to blow because I am not a toddler and I know how to play Pokemon (Or do I Sinnoh? Is that what you are trying to tell me?) but just as I start to shake my fist in her direction here walks this foreign guy. Dashingly handsome with sly eyes and a good sense of fashion I stop to start and marvel at this perfect aspect of a man, and I desire to be just like him in everyway. Then walks up a guy who calls himself Looker and, let me say, I have never seen such a dimwit. The guys goes on and one in broken English about some fucktards named team Galactic and how they are stealing Pokemon for their nefarious deeds. I tell him to shut the fuck up and go back to China. He looks at me very strangely and I figure "Great he doesn't understand."  So I try again, Loudly. "GO BACK TO CHINA YOU FUCKING FOREIGNER. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE." 

"Looker" still doesn't understand me so I sit through his talk and then head to the trainer's school to give Rush something from his Mom. Rush spouts off some nonsense about being an awesome trainer and then runs off. I admire his dedication but it takes a little more intelligence to become a Pokemon than he has. To put it mildly, if I was Macgyver and I had a paperclip for every bit of intelligence he had, I couldn't escape a Chinese Finger Trap.

Anyway I poke around Jubilife getting all the free stuff from the locals I could find and then I leave. Guess who is waiting outside because he wants to go to the ER again but forgot the way? Yep Rush. I fuck him over with W because I could. 

That Route (203 I believe?) I get a Shinx. I'm very excited and name her O'Connor after Sandra Day O'Connor.  I also turn around and go back to Jubilife and head up to route 204 hoping for a Budew. I am denied and get a Kricketot. I name him Byrd after Robert Byrd. (Look up Robert Byrd Barbaric on Youtube. Not Political, just funny)

I grind up O'Connor and throw Byrd in a box so he can sleep in peace. It is time to sleep by now so I save and shut down the game.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 13, 2011 at 5:47 PM Flag Quote & Reply

B "Diddy" M
Posts: 295

A Nuzlocke in this region is really hard.. I understand losing to Fantina. Even if you plan for her she can be hard. Good luck on the adventure and congrats on the pokemon you caught!

January 13, 2011 at 6:39 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

this is by far the most humorously updated run we've had so far. i lol'd throughout


The destructor has gone

January 13, 2011 at 6:40 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

(Still playing catch-up)

I forgot to mention but I named my Chimchar after my favorite American President; Theodore Roosevelt. I called Chimchar Theodore.

So I wake up the next morning of my vacation and it is time to get to Oreburgh. Wilson, O'Connor, Theodore, and W are looking pretty good at this point but I am still unnerved for Roark. Having been swept by his Cranidos twice makes a man paranoid like that.

I reach Oreburgh and ger dissed by a small boy in shorts who calls me a n00b. I punch him in the face.

Strolling away from the bloody pre-teen I spy none other than my "good ol' buddy" Rush standing in front of the Gym. He proceeds to tell me that the Gym leader is out.

I don't know what could possibly be more importent than fighting me for the Gym Badge, but seeing as I am the only one who recognizes this I head out to find Roark and put my fist in his face. (Or Theodore's Fist in his Cranidos's face. Really any combination of those things would work for me)

Firstly though I head north to Route 114(I think) to check and see if I can nab a Machop to make the Gym fight easier. Nope, I get a Ponyta. Normally I would jump for joy and exclaim how happy I am, but not this run. Theodore is a fantastic Fire Pokemon and he is a fantastic Fighting type too, Ponyta is just cute. I catch her figuring that should the worst happen and Theodore take a bullet at a speech she can step in as kick-ass fire Pokemon. I name her O'Donnal after Christine O'Donnal, Senator from Massachutes (fuck spelling that right)((If you haven't heard Shmoyoho's songification of "I'm not a witch" by her than watch it now)).

So once again dissapointed and with aboslutely nothing super-effective against Roark I head into the Mines. Already I am figuring this run is going to end when I challenge him.

The Oreburgh Mines yeild a Geodude and I catch her and name her Regan. (After Nancy Regan.) I have had many a good experience with Geodudes on Nuzlocke runs in the past and Regan is the light in a long dark tunnel of, mostly, unluck. I train her hoping she learns Magnitude before she exceeds Rule #5 but this is not the case. However, while in the caves Theodore evolves into Monferno and learns Mach Punch. I didn't mean for him to over-level but he was the only thing that could fight the pokemon in the Mines. Anyhow it happened, nothing to do about it now.

First thing I did when I walked into Roark's Gym was challenge him to a dick length contest. He declines making me certain now that he is, in fact, a Pussy.

And he goes down like one too. Theodore easily eliminated his Geodude, while Regan took out his Cranidos with Rock Throw. (It is weird to think Rock doesn's resist rock.) I considered Humiliating Roark more but decided against it. I was saving myself for someone special. (I'm looking at you Fantima!)

Having beat Roark a bunch of my frustration at the game was relieved. I started treating other trainers nicer after I beat them. (You know, like by giving compliments after they lost. "You did good kid, for someone who just quit pissing the bed." or "You should be proud of yourself, you lasted a whole 5 seconds longer than I thought you would!" Things like that)

Then a Glameow Crited and killed O'Connor.

See remember that ass-hat Looker I described before? Apparently this "Team Galactic" was a real thing run by real fucktards. I found them bickering with the Prof and Dawn (Who is still fat when not crying. Go figure). Now I may not be the best judge of maturity in the world, but I quit playing "Space Adventure" when I was 6. I also lost the Bowl cut around the same time. So either these guys didn't get the memo that they graduated 1st grade or all their members have been held back a couple times... just saying.

So anyway they are bickering with Rowan and they threaten him one to many times. The Man flipps-shit and starts yelling about them being dickheads and immature asshats for threatening him, I swore he was about to raise one of them off the ground and then just start beating the shit out of him. But of course, I make myself known and Rowan tells me to beat them in a Pokemon battle. Cuz , you know, that'll teach them a lesson.

Ah well I am not one to turn down a Pokemon battle. Unfortunately I had to fight alongside fatty because she "wanted to help" and "make sure your Pokemon don't get hurt" and some shit like that. Can you believe this bitch?

Well anyway O'Connor is in the front of the party and I get her to take down the Zubats they have no problem as Dawn's Turtwig sat there picking it's nose. Eveything is going great until out of nowhere the enemies' Glameow critted his Scratch and killed O'Connor. I loved that Shinx, I love ALL Shinx! My eyes turned an instantanious Blood-red and I bring out the big guns, Theodore. His one Mach Punch beat all 9 of the Glameow's lives out of it for an OHKO and ending the battle.

The Galatic goons run off like total pricks after the battle ends. Platinum claimed it's first victim.

No tribute song was played to mourn my beloved friend, oh no. However Shinedown's Sound of Madness? HELL YES. Platinum just made me it's enemy.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 12:35 AM Flag Quote & Reply

B "Diddy" M
Posts: 295

I feel bad because I know how much it sucks to lose a Pokemon, especially a great one like Shinx, but this is just too funny. I can't really be sad haha

January 14, 2011 at 12:43 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

RIP O'Connor


The destructor has gone

January 14, 2011 at 1:25 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

(Still playing Catch-up)

Alright so I wake up the next day and turn on my game. I'm back in Jubilife heading to Eternia (Isthat how you spell that?). So I teach W Rock Smash and turn the rubble in the cave ahead of Jubilife into smaller rubble. At this point I am, once again, nervous about an upcoming fight, Loosing O'Connor yesterday really made me mad, I fight poorly when mad. Well It just so happens that there are two over-leveled bitches right in front of Floroma town. (Some twins or another. They have one of those fucking Pachirisu things.) I hate their Pachirisu. One run I lost 3 Pokemon or so to those bitches.

So remember how I was freaking out before? No worries. Regan learned Magnitude, taught those bitches to scream.

Alright so I hit up Floroma town for all its free shit from the stupid locals, nabbing the TM Pluck and some berries mostly. I figure out that those Motherfucking Team Galactic shitheads are here, all I can think about is revenge. I take the two Grunts harrassing the Honey Guy North of Floroma town and then spread some delicious honey on the nearby trees. I'll come back later to see what gets drawn in.

Then I head East to the Windmill at Valley Windworks. The first thing I catch there is a Buizel. I have never actually ran a game of Sinnoh with a Buizel and I look forward to him being a steady water type for me. I name him Franklin after Benjamin Franklin. Looking at his stats he is mostly Physical so he probably won't start really rocking the house until Waterfall.

So in Valley Windworks I find a whole swath of these Team Galatic asshats. It becomes apprent after looking at their leader , a woman named "Mars", that my theory about them being held back several years was true. This woman looks like an 80's child that has been stuck in the first grade since the age of Disco, and never let out.

Anyway she brags about some shit or another and of course I am thinking "I'm going to fuck you up once you shut up, or at least fuck up your Pokemon... because that is all I can do."

Finally the fight gets going. She fights like an 6 year old too. Only a 6 year old would rely on a bat and a cat to win in Pokemon battles, and I doubt she even picked the cat for any good reason except in rhyming with bat.

So Regan one-shots her bat and Theodore 2 shots her cat. All is well but I am not even close to being satisfyed. I lost O'Connor goddamnit, I am not going to stop at beating a single commander.

So the Team Galatic people run like pricks (again) and I have (once again) restored peace and order to the blah blah give me a goddamn medal already you are all worthless idiots. Am I seriously the only one who knows how to use a pokemon in this world (besides Gym leaders?) Why didn't they cal Roark up to deal with this problem?

Eterna Forest yeilds for me a Male Buneary who I catch and call Carter after dear Jimmy Carter. (When he uses Frustration I always think it is because he doesn't have any Peanuts).

So I have been playing all this time with two other friends of mine who are also on their Pokemon games. One of them sees Carter and she wants him desperately because he is so cute.

So I end up trading Carter away before having really trained him. In return I got a Munchlax that she had named Marx (after Karl Marx)(( I also imagine the dot on his stomach to look like the Hammer and scythe from Russia)). level 1, but I wasn't about to let that get me down. Marx and I became fast friends in Eternia Forest (Fuck that Cheryl girl. She was hot but dumb as a sack of lawyers). I think I love Marx. Apparently he doesn't love me though because I get him to level 11 and then he refuses to listen to me anymore. So I shove his fat ass in the box until after I have fucked up Gardenia.

It is also to note that W and Wilson evolved in the Forest and I caught a Wurmple outside and named her Maathai. (A South American Political Figure).

It is alos importent to note that Team Asshat is here in Eternia too. Fuck fighting the Gym Leader I want to take them out... WTF is this tree doing here? How the fuck does the Team get in and out.... ah fuck it I'll do Gardenia first.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 9:54 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

(Still catch-up)

I begin my next session by grinding up my team to face Gardenia. Maathai turns into a beautiful Cascoon (Yay a Beautifly finally!) and then turns into a not so beautiful dead from a jealous Bidoof's critcal Tackle. I can't say I was too heartbroken because we didn't know each other long, but I do miss her potential kickassery and awesome nameage so I bitchsmacked the Bidoof into oblivion.

After mourning Maathai to Lady Gaga's Monster (My friends wouldn't let me change to something more appropriate. They wanted to hear Monster so I made do) I went to bring a can of whoop-ass to Gardenia. (I would later open said can and devour the contents while Gardenia gave me head)

So the battle itself with Gardenia was uneventful to say the least. Having a Monferno and a Staravia really took any challenge out of a Grass Gym. I think Theodore got poisoned on the last hit due ot Poison Point, that was the most "tense" part ofthe battle. And then I used a Pecha Berry. *shrugs*

Afterward it was time to bring the pain to Team Asshats! But wait! First Rush has to come in and show me a Statue? WTF why do I care you nimwit? I'll catch the Dialgia/Palkia Pokemon myself in just a bit. (Much better than you can do!)

So after that wonderfully entertaining sidequest I grabbed Marx from the box and sat to unseat Team Galatic.

Oh also forgot to mention I ran into this hotty named Cynthia who gave me Cut. I thought at first it was some sort of kinky come-on, which I was fine with. Turns out to just be how to teach your Pokemon to cut, Now I'm not for self-mutilation normally but, I didn't mind it happening to W.

So anyway I start telling W how worthless he is and how his parents don't love him so he'll cut the shrubs in front of the Galatic Building down. I step in and the Chinese Wonder, Looker, appears again. I guess he expected me to be surprised that he was smart enough to disguise himself as a Team Galatic member but it isn't like that is a real feat here. You just get a bowl cut, put on spandex, and rant and rave about space and what a fucktard you are and BAM, you're in.

So Marx and Franklin take out all the Galatic Members as a dynamic duo until we are standing in front of another Galatic Admin. Now I ain't going soft on you guys or anything but this one was actually kinda hot. Not a "so hot it makes me jizz in my pants" hot but more of a "Hot Half-sister" kind of hot. Hot and nice to look at, but you wouldn't do her unless you were sufficently buzzed and/or in a Japanese Porno.

Well anyway her Hottness aside, she was also a total wuss up until her Skuntank. Now I have never had trouble with a Skuntank before (if anything it was Mars' Pur-holyshitthatis-ugly that gives me trouble) but this Skuntank was hitting like an out-of-control Freight Train with it's Night Slashes. However Regan saved the day by Getting a Magnitude 10 and dropping the Skuntank through the ground. (Probably into Korea where it was promptly eaten). It was a good thing too because Regan was left with only 2 hp.

So the bike shop owner gives me a bike for saving his Clefairy. I wasn't doing it for him but hey, who turns away free shit?

So that Hot Cynthia chick came by again and gave me an Egg. I think she must be onto me. First suggesting kinky sex and now she is seeing how I rear children. I bet she wants to bear my children. I give her a smile and say "Sure I'll take that egg" and then we she isn't looking I tossed it in the box. Later I'll tell her it was a stillborn, she'll never know. ;)

Later Today I'll tell you the story of Cycling Road and beyond!


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 2:01 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

so... much... badassery...

i'm jelly.


The destructor has gone

January 14, 2011 at 2:14 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 515

omg cj XD i am cracking up

January 14, 2011 at 4:17 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

(Glad you guys are liking it. Just tell me if I go too far at some point!)

(Oh, Still catch-up. I am working fast to fix the gap though so I can play soon)

I start up my game and, with bike on Hotkey, I head down the Cycling Road.

you would think with a badass name like that it would be full of hot babes and tought trainers right? You would be WRONG. Bunch of half-assing dimwits that make my Chinese Finger trap joke earlier look like Mission Impossible.

Now at this point I am getting demands to go into the Underground with one of my friends. (She had just discovered it. I gave her my Diamond for Christmas and she has never played before.)

So I head into the underground to dick around. Then HOLY SHIT I find a Skull Fossil. I am freaking out cuz I got the fossil and I thought they were like super-rare. I pop back up and revive the Cranidos and take a look at it's stats. Oh, lame. I think my Munchlax is faster than that thing. My excietment is blown and I throw Jefferson, as he was to be called, into the box. If, for some reason, Regan dies he can be my replacement.

So I get back on my way to Hearthrome City and beatdown the trainers along the way. I actually forgot to head behind the Cycling Road and catch the 2 Pokemon there (One on the Route and 1 in the cave) so I just continue into Mt. Coronet. I have some repels in my bag so I go ahead and use them so I can save my catch at this point for something better. I dunno what that would be, but I do it anyway.

So I reach Hearthrome. I caught a Roselia on the way and called him Fillmore after President Fillmore. I never liked male Roselias and if there would have been a Transvestite President I would have named him after that. Alas that isn't so (to my knowledge).

Okay so I am in Hearthrome and of course, I am biting down my nails because I know what has to come. Let me take a break here to rant.

WHAT THE FUCK GAMEFREAK?!?! I am glad you are trying to streamline your game. I love that. Still WHY THE FUCK MAKE FANTIMA THE 3rd GYM LEADER? Thye give you nothing to combat her with unless you picked up a Gastly back in the Manor (Which I forgot to go to. Hmmm...) and even then if your Gastly isn't OHKOing and going Faster you''ll lost him in one hit. Then you give her a BAMF pokemon like Mismagus and then give it some incredibly powerful attacks?? Good god. At least Morty in HG/SS is #4 and his most powerful attack is Hypnosis/Dream Eater which is much easier to avoid than Shadow Claw.

So anyway that is what I am thinking about as I head into Hearthrome. So lost in thought I step on this Buneary that was apprently escaping from it's trainer. I give the girl who picks it up a dirty glare. Shesh woman keep better controll of your Pokemon!

The first real thing I do in Hearthrome is pick up the Eevee from Bebe. Great a nature that lowers Sp.At. Almost every Eevee evolution uses Sp.At so that means I can get a ... Umbreon, Flareon, or Leafeon. Now I can hear you all saying "Go Umbreon!' Problem is Umbreon doesn't learn a Dark move till like 36. My best chance is to level Eevee to 29 and get Bite really. I end up deciding to go Leafeon anyway because my party is really weak to Water and I have nothing to take them since O'Connor's death. (I still miss her!)

But getting Eevee to 29 breaks rule #5 so I gotta go without for now. My best bet is to overpower the Ghosts with Wilson and Franklin, and use Marx for Parlysis support with Lick. With nothing left to do (after I grinded a little of course) I headed into the Gym.

I am super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super afriad of being swept again. I would have to make a trip to the PokeCenter after every battle against just the pre-gym trainers.

Oh well, time to nut-up or shut-up.

Actually firstly have I mentioned how I think Fantima is actually a Drag Queen? Look at him! There is no way that is a woman. No woman would do that with their Hair or try and talk in a such a Fake French Accent. I would make a joke about telling her/him to go back to France but we know how the French are when it come to retreating and... well I still do need that Gym Badge.

Fantima leads with her Duskull. I lead with Theodore hoping his speed and power could get quick OHKOs and win this for me. I actually go into my bag and use an X Attack to help boost his power. If I had been thinking I should have used an X Speed as well because the Duskull was doing pitiful damage. Anyway I 2HKO th Duskull and get a serving of his/her Haunter. For a Pokemon with shit Attack it is doing WAY to much damage with a Shadow Claw.  Theodore takes about 35% from one and with the damage I already had on me from the Duskull I was looking at a 2HKO. Plus I am not faster so I can't do enought to end it myself first. I thought about using a Super Potion and trying again but I was so worried about a Crit that I decided to switch to Wilson instead and try that way. Turns out I couldn't have made a better choice. That turn the Haunter used Mean Look instead of Shadow Claw and if I would have stayed to Heal Theodore would have been in hot water.

Alright so Wilson squares off agaist this Haunter. He tries for a Hypnosis which misses. My wing attack does a little more than 40% but still not enough to make it a 2HKO. I figure I will go cheap and use Double team so I don't have to get hit by Hypnosis anymore. Well turns out his next Hypnosis does hit and I am stuck asleep unable to switch out. If this thing had been packing Dream Eater I would have been FUCKED, but surprisingly it didn't. His final move was Sucker Punch.

Then it dawned on me. He couldn't touch me at all. If I kept spamming Double team I would PP stall his Sucker Punch and then I could reach +6 Evasion easy.

So I go for it and it totally works. That's right game, FUCK YOU. I can use Double Team to fuck you over too.

So Wilson wipes the Haunter out without a Problem and in comes the Mismagus. It has this evil grin on it's face that implies that it is going to do nasty nasty things to me after it is finished with me, Even with +6 Evasion I am terrified for my life, much less for my Pokemon! It goes for a Psybeam and misses so Wilson starts in with his Wing Attacks. Surprisingly they do some good damage. Next turn however it uses Magical Leaf. MAGICAL FUCKING LEAF. Now my +6 Evasion is negated. Luckily Wilson resists it but even still it is hitting his Weak Sp.Df.

Then I get a brilliant idea. I ahd taught Wilson Theif a long time ago when I got the TM so he could steal Berries from Boss Pokemon. I remembered that this Mismagus is packing a Sitrus berry and I steal it like a thief in the night! Wilson promptly eats it after being hit by a Magical Leaf, but it is enough HP for him to go for the Kill with Wing Attack.

So HA! I beat you again Bitch. The last time we met you took my starter from me but this time I fucking destoyed you! With a Staravia!

I proudly walked out of the Gym, a load lighter (in more ways than one. Don't think I didn't humiliate him/her in other ways first ((still can't confirm the gender on that fucked up individual))

It was time to head out to Solaceon town and contiue my Pokemon adventure, this time not having to worry until Candice.

But of course, it isn't that easy.

The big difference, the real reason why I hate my Rival in this game sooo much has nothing to do with his personality. It has to do with honor and ability. Rush is an aboslute fucktard/shithead/asshat/aspie ect. Gary, while a jerk and still popping up at inopportune times is actually believeable as a real Rival. I want to beat Gary because he gives off an aura of being tough. I want to beat the SHIT out of Rush because he is so FUCKING annyoing.

And he is waiting for me on the way to Solaceon Town.

I lead with Marx who wrecks his Staravia despite the Intimidate. (He is packing Return now. Bitch yeah!)

Then comes his Prinplup. No big deal, I leave Marx in and get some Amnesias up so Bubblebeam does nothing. So it starts using Metal Claw which is still doing pitiful damamge. A few licks later I have it at 70% and paralyzed and it is time to switch Marx or risk his death. I decide to go for Wilson to get an Intimidate and lower his Attack and take him out. Works like a charm, the metal Claw he switches into does next to nothing.

I get a swift Wing Attack in reduce him to 25%.

And then....

And then....


a crit bubblebeam kills Wilson.

Wilson the Staravia who ahs been with me f=since the beginning. Wilson who wrecked Team Asshat beside me all this time. Wilson who singehandedly defeated the scariest Mismagus I had ever seen, who I owed my Relic Badge to.

Wilson got his by a crit Bubblebeam form Rush's Prinplup.


There isn't a way to describe how I felt. All I knew was I wasn't going to be satisfyed sending that Prinplup to the ER again, it was a body bag or nothing.

I brought out Franklin who felled the Prinplup in one fell Quick Attack. Theodore took out the rest.

Fuck you Rush. Fuck you and all you stand for. If I would have lost a Pokemon to Gary I at least would have thought it an honorable death, but loosing him to you... it was an insult to his memory. I will not forgive you for this. I will hunt you to the ends of the earth. You will NEVER kill another of my Pokemon again or you will NEVER see the light of day.

I'm sorry Wilson, I hope you are in a better place now.

Needless to say I saved and closed the game and retreated into Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl by Broken Social Scene.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 6:52 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 515

bubblebeam? srsly? holy hell...

RIP Wilson.

January 14, 2011 at 8:08 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

It was because of Torrent I think. Along with the Crit.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 10:24 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

(Final Catch-up post here. If it ain't in here it isn't worth posting. After this one all posts are real updates after having played!)

I am still mourning Wilson even to this day. Sure Theodore covers everything else Wilson did, but he doesn't have intimidate. He won't learn fly. (Nothing I have caught at this moment will)

So I head through the Route to find another Pokemon to fill the missing void in my Party. (Cuz fuck whatever is in my box lol)

And I stumble upon a Chansey! For a breif moment life looked good again. If anything the game was trying to cheer me up by presenting this low-odds-of-apperance Pokemon. Of course the game then took a rusty pole and shoved it straight up my ass because the damn thing would not catch in any of my 10 Pokeballs. (Of assorted veriety) Lesson learned, always be prepared. I went and bought 50 Pokeballs (and 5 premiere Balls) back in Hearthrome. Lets see something escape from me again!

Alright so I reach Solaceon town and there is Rush waiting for me, the little fucker. The nerve of him to show up AGAIN after taking my Staravia from me. He babbled on about some dumb ruins nearby. I even checked them just to see if he had actually stumbled upon something worthwhile. Nope, just some items and a Unknown I caught and named Eff (guess the letter).

So some worthless items (Barring HM05 Defog. Which is still a worthless move but it is an HM. Actually while I am talking about it what is with Game Freak and making Terrible HM moves? Seriously? You make me teach one of my Pokemon th equivalent of Sweet Scent, make it so they can't forget it normally, but punish me with inaccuracy if I don't use it? Low-fucking-blow you assholes. How about I come by and switch your Dick with a lawn mower blade? You still gotta use it to procreate but good luck finding a woman into that shit) and I forgot the begining of that sentence so Ill just end it here.

So anyway I pass through Solaceon and decide not to get a Pokemon on this next route because if I wait till the Northern part of the Route I can try for Swablu. I figure worse comes to worse I can get a Zubat in some cave or a Wingull by surfing around Iron Island. (They are like a 60% chance there)

Training along the routes here has been beast. Then however it starts raining on the way to Veilstone. At first I was worried because Theodore really doesn't like the rain, and then I remembered Franklin. Franklin loves the rain. He got OHKOs with Aqua Jet in the rain. AQUA FUCKING JET was OHKOing in the rain. God that was the most awesome route ever. I think he evolved out of Awesome, it had nothing to do with the level he reached.

Also Marx decided that he loved me and evolved into a Snorlax. Bitch yes!

Caught a Marril along that route. Thick Fat too, lame. Into the box you go whatever your name is.

Alright so in Veilstone and I come to the realization that 3 of my 5 Pokemon team is weakness to Fighting so Mialee is looking to whip my ass. So after just getting to Veilstone I turn right back around and backpeddal all the way to Eternia to evolve Bryan. (My Eevee named after William Jennings Bryan who made the famous Cross of Gold speech, a favorite of mine.) I also backpedal to Floroma Meadows and get the Honey tree Pokemon; a, surprisingly, Female Combee! Normally I would be screaming "Hail Mary" but it only came to me at level 10 and really I just have better Pokemon now. So I box her and know I can count on her should another member fall.

I also grab a Gastly in Old Cheateu. I was going to train her as well but by the time I had done all this errand running Regan had evolved (And then evolved again because of my nearby friends. Golem FTW) and Theodore had evolved into an Infernape as well. At this point I only had Marx and Regan weakness to Mialee, but with the leveling we had done with this small kid named Mira in the cave beneath cycling road Mialee just wasn't scary anymore.

Gym Battle time!

So... random question but do any of you know if Mialee is legal or not? Well I mean I suppose it doesn't matter now because the event has already happened and well... I won't tell. You guys wouldn't tell on me would you?

Cuz it was totally consentual. I impressed her that much. Yes sir-ee she just saw my dick and screamed "Let me have your babies!" What was a man to do right? No on blames me right? "How did the battle go?"

Oh right, the Pokemon battle.

I won.

You still want more? Okay fine.

The first half of the battle I had Bryan wreck the ever-loving shit out of her Pokemon with Secret Power (Because he won't learn a Grass move till I Heart Scale him Razor Leaf in Pastoria. Game Freak employees are such assholes.)

When it came time for big bad Lucario to come out I brought in Theodore and showed him what it REALLY ment to be fighting type, and then OHKOd him with Close Combat.

So in conclusion; my current team is

Theodore (Infernape) lv. 36

Franklin (Floatzel) lv. 30

Bryan (Leafeon) lv. 31

Regan (Golem) lv. 30

Marx (Snorlax) lv. 30

I lost O'Connor, Wilson, and Maathai.

And I am saved in front of Mialee, Velistone City.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 14, 2011 at 11:12 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739


So I exit the Gym and Fatty is standing outside crying about some shit or another. I am getting really tired of her frequent meltdowns and so I decide to actually listen to her this time. Apparently Team Asshat had taken her Pokedex. I was always up for roughing up them so i joined her in another double battle (Which I carried entirely myself. Regan was the only one using any attacks) and got her Pokedex back. I then raided their nearby warehouse for HM02 Fly. (Goddamnit Wilson would have loved that HM).

The Route to Pastoria yeilded a Hippopatas in the caves who I called Polk (after James K Polk.) and a Houdour who used Roar to run like a pussy.I didn't need him anyway.

Valor Lakefront yeilded a Starvia. I didn't have to go for him but I did anyway because having a Flyer was too good an opportunity to pass up. Unfortunately I must have really upset the gods today because that Staravia too ran like a pussy with Whirlwind.

I cam upon a series of Hotel Cabins. Some bitch was locked out of her room, but I found her key nearby. She then thanked me with hot sex.

I am skipping the Double Battle Cafeteria for now so I can train up anything new I catch. it isn't open this late at night anyway.

Reached Pastoria City and taught Bryan Razor Leaf. I'm getting off for the night.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 15, 2011 at 12:06 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739


Saved in Celestic Town

Theodore lv. 37

Marx lv. 35

Franklin lv.35

Bryan lv.34

Anand (Tropius) lv.33

Kennedy (Pichu) lv.21

Alright so I start my game back up in Pastoria and head to the Safari Zone to catch a Pokemon. The Safari Zone has always been a "grey" area in any Nuzlocke run, but generally I conduct it by running around and catching whatever I can and then when I leave I keep 1 of the Pokemon per area (In this case, 1Pokemon). Today's adventure got me a Tropius whom I desperately needed for Flying and Defog. I named him Anand after the current Governor-General of New Zealand. 

After catching Anand I went to take on Gym Leader Wake! Ah-hem... I mean CRASHER Wake! I was feeling pretty confident about the fight because of Bryan knowing Razor Leaf. Now with Anand I was sure to win!

But first who shows up as I reach the door of the Gym? None other then Rush. Wow Rush, you have a lot of nerve showing your face to me again. It is like you are ASKING to get fucked up. And I will do it too.

Not only does he have the GALL to show up but he also challenges me to a Battle! Seriously? I mean I knew you were a dumbfuck but this... this is a whole new level of idiocy. 

The battle itself was really easy. By now my team can cover just about any Pokemon type and each easily fell his Pokemon one by one. I felt particularly good when Bryan critted his Razor Leaf on Prinplup.

Well now that that shit is over I can move on to fighting adversaries worth me time.

The Pre-Gym trainers proved to be super easy and Bryan soaked up great globs of experience from them. All was left was Master wake. I don't quite remember his Pokemon team so I lead with Bryan figuring whatever it is he has Bryan can hit it for super-effective damage.

Of course this is not the case. Wake leads with his Gyrados, a bad-ass motherfucker as I have ever seen one. 

Gyrados are the one thing my party has trouble dealing with because they are all Physical fighters, and none of them even have super-effective moves except for Regan. So Regan has always handled any Gyrados that have come my way with Rock Throw. 

So I switch to Regan. I forgot that Crasher Wake's TM was Brine.

And it hit.... and killed her. On hit KO. BAM, first move of the Gym Leader and I already lost of my best friends! (Why the fuck was his Gyra using Brine on Bryan I will never know)

I am so fucking mad right now. I think I am going to have to kill this Gym Leader.

Since Intimidate has worn off on the switch I go back to Bryan who is able to kill the Gyra with a couple of Bites that flinch.

Next comes his Floatzel which, based off the ridiculous use of TMs, probably knows Ice Fang. So I switch to Marx and start licking hoping for Paralyze and get it!

Now the Floatzel is at half health and Paralyzed, easy prey. Poor Marx was pretty  beat up after Paralyzing it though so I switch back to Bryan on a NVE Aqua Jet. Bryan himself is at only half HP, so I go ahead and Synthesis. 

Well hot damn, it DOES know Ice Fang. Thanks a fucking lot Game Freak. 

Ice Fang easily does half of Bryan's HP. I don't know for sure that Razor Leaf is going to kill, even with this thing at half health, and after loosing Regan I am being very cautious. So I synthesis again praying for Parahax, which I get.

Bryan easily kills the Floatzel and then destroys the Quagsire.

Damnit Regan, I am so sorry. Luck brought us together but I was the one who threw you away. I am so sorry my dear. 

I box Regan and look over the box of living Pokemon. They are mostly low-level chumps who would be too much work to get good, or whose type is already represented in my party. Really what I need is a Special Attacker.

Good thing Kirlia can be found on the Route below Hearthrome!

Fuck Kirlia man. Fuck Teleport, fuck Whirlwhind, FUCK all that shit. I nearly had the fucker, it broke out on the last goddamn wiggle. Why the fuck does the ball wiggle 3 times? Why do I have to roll 4 checks to see if my Pokemon is caught??!

I do get a Pichu in the Trophy Garden. He has some raw potential, and already knows Nasty Plot with a Sp.At boosting Nature. Since the little bastards evolve only by friendship I throw him in my party. I dunno if I'll keep him yet, but I'll give him a chance to prove himself.

So remember how I said I avoided Pokemon in the Route above Solaceon so I could try for a Swablu or something else with wings or awesome?  (Because while I love my Tropius for fly and defog, I really don't want another Grass type)

Well yeah I don't get that. I get a Machoke. Once again, a great Fucking Pokemon, but already obsolete because of Theodore and also another Physical Attacker. 

So I boxed Palin. (Yeah, it was a girl too). 

Man FUCK THIS ROUTE. It is like some goddamn Gauntlet or something. Why are all the Trainers here SO FUCKING DIFFICULT?? I have had to run back to the Pokemon Center after ever trainer battle. That is fucked up. There is no way that can be right. I was nearly obliterated by a Raichu/Gyrados combo. WTH? Just two Pokemon left my entire team in the Red and me scrambling to out-predict and save them. 
What is worse, if this is already so hard, how am I going to make it to Snowpoint City? Constant Hail AND really tough trainers? This is worse than some Goddamn Zombie Apocalypse! 

So I made it through the Gauntlet (As this route is to be called) and landed in Celstic City. My babe, Cynthia. had sent me there to meet her Grandmother. Guess she wants me to meet the Family before having my babies. That is cool, I understand, I'll do whatever you want hun. Long as I get to tap that later on.

I am sure you guys are tired of hearing about them, but Team Asshats was in Celestic Town too. Not only that, but so was their Leader, some Zombified Blue hair guy named Cyrus who looks like what would happen if you dressed a Skeleton in a Clown Afro. I whupped his ASS like the Punk Leader he was, and sent him crying back too.. well wherever Team Galactic goes to cry off to. I do wonder what he meant about "Remaking the world" and all though.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 15, 2011 at 8:34 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 739

Shit you think it is about time for an update? I sure do. 

I took a brief hiatus for a couple of reasons; I was feeling a little overshadowed by Nick's run and retreated from posting. Another reason was because I got a bitch of a Pichu, WHO WOULD NOT EVOLVE!

Anyway all that is over so time to update;

Alright so I was whining before about the Routes to Snowpoint City, but I forgot about the whole Canalave City and Iron Island place. Since I had Surf now I decided to go adventuring and surfed all the way down to the Pal Park. Caught a Sudowoodo, a Tentacool, and a Wingull. FUCK YES A WINGULL!

At this point I must direct my exuberance to Nick because I never payed much attention to Wingull and Pelipper until he made mention of them in one of his Nuzlocke runs. I checked their stats, played around with them a little, and discovered what was missing in my life.

I named him Monteblanc after France. I am pretty sure that isn't a Politician's name in France but it sounds French and I don't want to go online.

I replaced Anand with Monteblanc. I guess it is my reverence for Water types that made me do it. (I was horrified by having two Grass types in my party but I am oddly soothed by two Water types.) Monteblanc is better than Anand is almost every way and HOLY SHIT HE LEARNS ROOST ON HIS OWN!

Man I fucking love this thing. This is like my baby now. Surf, Fly, Roost, Quick Attack. Pure Pwnage.

After rejoicing (for once in this run) I took Monteblanc and the party to Canalave. Captain Asshole (Aka Rush) is waiting for me and wants to test my party for the Gym Leader. I can't tell if he is doing this to let me know if I can't beat Byron, or just to be an gloating ass. So I assumed the latter and beat him senseless.

As I said before he is NEVER taking another party member from me.

Next is The Gym or Iron Island. I decided to go Iron Island first because extra training is always nice. 


Who is the problem? You Kennedy, you are the problem. You damn little Pichu. 

See Pichu quits learning moves after level 18 or so. This guy is level 21 and still a baby rat. Worst of all Pikachu, the slightly-better-but-still-an-electric-rat, learns Thunderbolt at 26 and I don't want to miss it training the bastard for Happiness. So instead I have to wait and massage him.

EVERY FUCKING DAY. My hands are SO fucking sore from massaging his little rat-ass. And he still won't evolve, with a Soothe Bell.

So I get a brilliant idea, and head to the Berry Master's house. He gives me a Kelpsey Berry, one of the best. Kelpsey Berries raise a Pokemon's happiness while reducing their EV's, not a problem since Kennedy has no training. 

Then for FOUR FUCKING DAYS I played the Pokemon equivalent of Farmville, watering Kelpsey Berries until I had 20 of them. Last night I took a very large funnel and poured 20 of them down his little throat until I thought I had nearly killed him. Then I shoved 8 more down his gullet. 

He laid there unmoving for several hours. (I left and had dinner while I waited.) 


When I came back all I could think to say was "IT'S ALIIIIIVE!"

I have made a Monster.

More on Kennedy, and my party later.


Ask me about my waifus

"I'm happy to report that my inner child is still ageless". James Broughton

January 21, 2011 at 12:57 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Posts: 1888

aw, i didn't mean to overshadow anybody =/ i actually don't think too many people have been paying attention to my run either.

i had that much trouble with an eevee in a run of gold version a few years ago. now that you've got a pikachu though, that'll be a huge addition to your party.


The destructor has gone

January 21, 2011 at 2:31 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Posts: 515

its not that people arent paying attention, its that college started this week. and i have had more to read in a few days than i have ever had to in all my AP english courses in high school COMBINED. fuckthisshit.


ANYWHO!! im sorry about Regan & the shitty ass wild pokes escaping. tbh, i hate those moves as well. Teleport pissed me off with Abra in Kanto, Roar did in Johto, and Whirlwind will forever baffle me as to why it exists.

January 21, 2011 at 4:08 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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