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Xelakian
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Posts: 486

A young Argonian sits in a cart. It just so happens that today, in the 201st year of the 4th era, this young Argonian was arrested trying to cross the border into Skyrim. Managing to narrowly avoid execution, he decides to take this as an opportunity to start a new life, and so it is today that he will give himself a new name!


What will the name of this young Argonian be?

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February 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Vesicant Lemur
Member
Posts: 98

Deekin, if you're still taking suggestions.

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Life is Absurd. Chill out. Don't give a fuck.

February 3, 2012 at 9:01 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

Steps-on-Tail

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 4, 2012 at 2:11 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

>Enter Name: Steps-on-Tail

Try again, smartass


>Deekin

You think this is as good a name as any. Well, almost any.


>Fondly regard countryside.

Your name is DEEKIN. As was previously mentioned you narrowly escaped an EXECUTION. A number of GUARDS who managed to escape from the incident at Helgen are scattered about the forest. None of that matters of course. What's more important are your variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for THIEVERY, but have considered getting out of the business.You like to experiment with magic but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for DAEDRIC LORE and are an aspiring AMATEUR SMITH. You also like to brew POTIONS sometimes.


What will you do?

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February 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

> Use the local flora to re-create the oblivion crisis in-miniature.

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 4, 2012 at 8:19 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Administrator
Posts: 1888

> A barrel roll (my smartass answer)


> My favorite thing to do in any RPG is to find the nearest new town and see what kind of new, OP'd weapons are for sale that I can go grind up money for. So, that's my serious answer.

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The destructor has gone

February 4, 2012 at 9:13 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

>Use the local flora to re-create the Oblivion Crisis in miniature.

You gather up a ton of snow cotton, mountain flowers and some canis root. You arrange the root to represent the Imperial City, the cotton represents the gates to Oblivion and the flowers represent various people, red for daedra, purple for men, blue for mer. In your recreation, you are Mehrunes Dagon. It's you. You stomp over the flowers, slowly plodding your way to the Canis Root Imperial City. Nothing can stop you. This version will have no Dragonfires, no heir to the Septim throne, no Avatar of Akatosh.

You hear a roar and a gust of wind from up above. You see the huge black dragon that destroyed Helgen flying towards the mountains. Maybe this isn't such a good idea...


>Find the nearest town.

You remember hearing about a small town called Riverwood at the base of the hill. You begin heading down there when suddenly you hear the howling of wolves. You retrieve your arms, and prepare for battle...wait, what arms did you find escaping Helgen?

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February 5, 2012 at 10:05 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Administrator
Posts: 1888

Well, there was that mop and wooden bucket I picked up in a moment of heated, kleptomaniacal passion...

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The destructor has gone

February 5, 2012 at 10:16 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

Use Tail Whip!

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 5, 2012 at 12:25 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

>Use Tail Whip!

The two wolves charge at you. You prepare to use a technique passed down from Argonian to Argonian for as long as anyone remembers. You spin around as a wolf jumps at you and smack him in midair with your scaly tail. He flies a few feet and hits a rock. One down.


>Arm yourself with that mop and wooden bucket you picked up in a moment of heated, kleptomaniacal passion.

You pull out the bucket. How the hell are you supposed to use this?!?

The wolf leaps at your face. You hold the bucket out in front of you. The wolf's head fits perfectly inside. It lands, trying desperately to free itself from its wooden prison.


>Mop the floor. Be the maid.

What the hell kinda command is that?!?

You beat the wolf to death and don't even care.

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February 5, 2012 at 2:19 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Administrator
Posts: 1888

Tail Whip, like a boss.


On to Riverwood, then?

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The destructor has gone

February 5, 2012 at 2:33 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

>LOOT TIME

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 5, 2012 at 2:36 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Administrator
Posts: 1888

Captain F. Magic at February 5, 2012 at 2:36 PM

>LOOT TIME

^this

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The destructor has gone

February 5, 2012 at 2:36 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

>LOOT TIME

This sounds like a wonderful idea. The pelts from these wolves will probably net you a few septims, at the very least, and right now you barely have a penny to your name. You pull out your dagger...wait, you have a dagger? Why didn't you use it?


>Check Strife Specibus.

You have absolutely no idea what the hell that is, but you look at your inventory and see that you have a variety of weapons you picked up off of Imperial Guards but neglected to equip. Apparently you killed them all with your bare hands. Sorry, bare claws. The closest thing to a weapon you've held up until this point was a mop and bucket, and you broke those beating the wolf to death.


>Equip Steel Dagger and Skin the Wolves.

You skin the wolves, and promptly unequip the dagger. Until you find something more awesome, like another mop, you're going to continue clawing your way to victory.


>On to Riverwood, then?

Sure, why not. You wander around a bit more. Wait, are you sure you're not lost?


>Check compass.

Do you even have one of those? You don't remember picking one up. You have some sort of innate knowledge that you've been heading in the wrong direction though. You go to what you instinctively know to be the nearest landmark and find the Guardian Stones. Each one has a birthsign on it: The Warrior, The Thief and The Mage. What do you do?

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February 5, 2012 at 4:18 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

>Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Vandalize the other two.

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 5, 2012 at 5:16 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Vesicant Lemur
Member
Posts: 98

>Admire the craftsmanship of the Thief Stone.

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Life is Absurd. Chill out. Don't give a fuck.

February 5, 2012 at 7:49 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Crimson DESTR0YA
Administrator
Posts: 1888

>Mage Stone. Maybe it'll help with that whole "not very good with magic" thing.

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The destructor has gone

February 5, 2012 at 7:56 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

>Admire the craftsmanship of the Thief Stone.

You've seen these before. This one's pretty faded, probably older than you are. You have fond memories of carting one of these over with your friends to block the outhouse of Old Man Dres back home. You laughed and laughed while he screamed.

Huh. In hindsight, maybe you shouldn't have had Lionel line the inside of the door with fire salts. And maybe you should've moved the stone eventually. That would explain why you never saw him again after that prank...


>Mage Stone. Maybe it'll help with that whole "not very good with magic" thing.

This seems like a wonderful plan. You trace your claw along the constellation, and you see the telltale glow of magic move from the stone to you. So cool.


>Vandalize the other two.

With what? Your hands? Whatever fucking magic voice. You go ahead and pointlessly try to ruin The Warrior Stone, only to be launched back a ways. Stupid ancient stone artifacts and their stupid ancient magicks making you look stupid.

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February 5, 2012 at 11:14 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Xelakian
Member
Posts: 486

Editor's Note: Updates will be quite lean during the week. Post suggestions anyways. I'll address them sooner or later.

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February 5, 2012 at 11:16 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Captain F. Magic
Member
Posts: 175

>Use new found magical prowess to become the greatest highwayman in all the nine holds.

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Professional Grumpy Old Man

February 6, 2012 at 12:35 AM Flag Quote & Reply

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